I have been working! I’ll just leave it at that. I have been (perhaps) working more than is reasonable. It takes time, it can be tiring, I have moments of needing complete silence and solitude. I intermittently yearn for more free time to do all the OTHER things I love. But mostly, I am content and fulfilled on a daily basis.
Like right now, so happy to be sitting down to write, drink a glass of wine, listen to Crosby, Stills and Nash (hearing my parents sing along and feeling enveloped in a warm and lovely memory of their company). Simultaneously allowing myself to be a little sad because who doesn’t need to be sad when they have a moment to catch their breath. It feels real and right and pure. Who doesn’t well up with tears when listening to Helplessly Hoping?
Jazz and I have broken down barriers in the last couple weeks. I got on my bike for the first time and promptly rode 30 miles thanks to the encouragement of a lovely friend. Jazz walked the entire circumference of Greenlake after a nine month boycott. I just ran 6 pain free miles yesterday. There was a twinge but who’s counting a twinge. We are on a roll my friends – despite last week – we were definitely NOT winning last week but who wants to hear about that?!
I have been hella amused by the use of hella. Who says hella?! Seattlites say hella, a hella lot. It seems to have made its way curiously into the vernacular of my locally born and raised friends. It drops into conversation when I least expect it.
Other things… that I said to myself and laughed really hard because I continue to amuse myself regularly:
The setting, Safeway, the checkout line, the checkout guy tells me it’s his pleasure to check me out (leave it be, I am not going to change how I am phrasing my backdrop) because it is his first day as a checker. I smile, that’s cute. Then he asks, do you have a Safeway card? I think to myself, “Do I have a Safeway card? I had a Safeway card before you were born!” And then I think, I sound like Alex (AWB).
Cooking, eating cilantro, I think to myself. You know, people are right, cilantro DOES taste like soap. I pause, then I must like soap. Isn’t that the logical conclusion?
(I also discovered a proper playground. It LOOKS like the death trap that it is – these newfangled playgrounds are way too safe, where’s the excitement in that?)
I got my bike fitted and learned that my legs aren’t aligned properly. I went to a bike shop and asked for smaller pedals… I mean shorter pedals. I’m informed that they can make them longer but not shorter. So I looked at cycle shop dude and said, so what you are telling me is that you don’t like petite people. He said, yes, that’s what I am telling you. Good thing we were both smiling… on the outside!
And finally, I love being a bus rider. I love the bus. I love public transportation. Although AWB would tell you that I had a minor meltdown on a bus to Queen Anne one night. For some reason, the other people on the bus were really irking me and I was really over public spaces. Anyway, that’s here nor there. The problem with Seattle buses is that I don’t fit on the seats!!! They are too big, my feet barely reach the floor, the seat isn’t the right depth. I am unstable in the seat so much so that I have to brace myself for the duration of the ride. I’m sad about it. I love the bus but the bus is uncomfortable when you spend the entire time trying to steady yourself in a seated position.
(It seems only appropriate to mention that I walk around the emergency department toting with me a box of extra small gloves. I am not fitted for this world.)
We are all starting to accept that Spring is here, it is difficult to deny amidst all the color and pollen. It remains at times chilly but there have been several sunny afternoons to remind us that the sun exists. The views continue to leave me breathless.
Our lives here have been filled with change both exciting and just really, really sad. I am reminded that I am incapable of moving through life without absorbing the sadness of others. I wish I had a visual representation for how this looks on the inside. Sometimes it feels as though I am walking around with a little basket collecting the emotions of others, the basket can get awfully heavy at times.
My little west coast family unit moved to West Seattle this weekend. I can already envision our lives from this point forward, the dinners, the laughter, the joys that we will experience in this new home. I am also sad to leave Madrona, my first Seattle home behind. It feels like the door is closing on my first chapter in Seattle. It is amazing how much change we endure in our lives.
And yet I crave change. It makes no sense. Maybe someone can let me know when they figure me out because I make no sense! (in a good way)
All in all, good things on the horizon. Kayaking, gardening, and tulips oh my!
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