Reminded

Straddled with several shifts in the NICU, my own doing.

I have come to realize what I have always believed to be true.

This work is quite obviously focused on the baby. The baby who needs to grow and develop appropriately. But for me it has always been about the parents. Having an extremely fragile child, the child you have carried, the child who you anticipate, the child you need to protect despite having the skills and understanding needed to protect this child… is wearing. It is emotional. It robs you of sleep, it gives rise to the incompatibilities with your partner… the partner with whom you have created this life.

It is hard. Hard on relationships. It immediately thrusts you into a space you did not anticipate. You are faced with how difficult life can be and how difficult it can be on your relationship.

And what I have always believed to be true – devotion. Helping one another through the most difficult experience.

Having endured a very long relationship, having gone through what is probably the most trying experience of my life with this person, I learned what devotion actually means. It means tenderness and patience. It means absolute love and respect. Your stability built on a foundation of happiness and adoration.

The families I have had the privilege to work with this week have exemplified what it means to support and love their partner through an exceptionally trying experience. I am not privy to their path but I do know that the tenderness and kindness in words and the unspoken acts of kindness illuminate what it takes.

It takes a solid foundation.

I want nothing less.